After having a one on one with David Bull. He explained to me how all films have similar ideas and that there are only 5 to 7 stories which are being recycled in interesting new ways, take Tron Legacy for example and the critically acclaimed Avatar.
I talked him through the story boards, and he felt the storyline was funny and thought it would definitely work better as a short.
He said it must be crystal clear that the audience understand that this man is extremely hungry, as his hunger is the driving force for the entire film. I can think of ways of making this clear.
I then explained that since it is a short I must condense the beginning into a concession of short cuts which I will give examples of in from other films.
I then explained the ending and he was concerned about the bird taking the man, maybe this would work more in 2.D then 3.D. So after discussing the idea we thought it would be better if the bird took the Marmot and then the man jumps in to a bush and is covered with tree branches attached to his arms like wings then he starts flapping his arms hinting he is about to jump of the cliff and try to fly after his meal.
David refereed the story to Octopi and said that if I was to go with the original idea of the bird catching the man, There was nothing left for the audience to think as the conclusion has been made, This was the audience will want more and think ah whats going to happen now.
The talk was really useful.
Script Draft 1
Script Draft 2
Final Script
I talked him through the story boards, and he felt the storyline was funny and thought it would definitely work better as a short.
He said it must be crystal clear that the audience understand that this man is extremely hungry, as his hunger is the driving force for the entire film. I can think of ways of making this clear.
I then explained that since it is a short I must condense the beginning into a concession of short cuts which I will give examples of in from other films.
I then explained the ending and he was concerned about the bird taking the man, maybe this would work more in 2.D then 3.D. So after discussing the idea we thought it would be better if the bird took the Marmot and then the man jumps in to a bush and is covered with tree branches attached to his arms like wings then he starts flapping his arms hinting he is about to jump of the cliff and try to fly after his meal.
David refereed the story to Octopi and said that if I was to go with the original idea of the bird catching the man, There was nothing left for the audience to think as the conclusion has been made, This was the audience will want more and think ah whats going to happen now.
The talk was really useful.
Script Draft 1
Please Adapt this to the storyboards, or ill do it over weekend.....
Snatched
By
David Legge
Script
Ext – Deserted Mongolian landscape – Dawn/Morning
Camera pans down from a early morning sky to show a vast sandy desert landscape with large snowed mountains, there is a small wooden hut with a smouldering fire outside in the distance.
A Mongolian man (mongol) is preparing his food placing his plate on a wooden log. He is about to eat his food he has left to cool down, while a growling bush watches.
Ext – Mongolian landscape – Bush
From inside the bush we see the Mongolian preparing his food further.
INT- Cooking pot
We see the Mongolian man making his meal from inside the pot as he takes the lid off.
EXT- Mongolia landscape – Next to Hut, By Bush
The little Marmot jumps cutely out of the bush. He scurries over towards the meat that has been left on the plate.
The Marmot then takes the food, but is seen by a very angry Mongolian man.
EXT- Mongolian Landscape
The Marmot is chased by the Mongolian man across a vast distance.
The marmot jumps through a broken wheelbarrows legs, while the Mongolian man gets stuck, the marmot gets away.
They run through lots of Mongolian huts through the middle, and the Mongolian man gets tripped up by some of the cooking pots left lying around on the floor.
The marmot gets chased into a forest, which is dark and dreary with angel rays coming through the trees.
When they come out of the trees, the Mongolian man leaps for the marmot and catches him rolling off the edge of a cliff.
They collapse on a heap on the floor. Dust flies up.
The Mongolian man raises up the ladle within his hands high above his head, as if to strike down on the Marmot. A bird shape casts a shadow over him.
A large Brown eagle sweeps down and grabs the Mongolian Man. The Mongolian man is dragged off into a distance.
The marmot is left happy with his little piece of meat.
Black screen
Titles
2D – Flash animation / Images
We see the Marmot sitting down back at the Mongol’s hut eating the Piece of meat with a knife and fork and a red checked hanky around his neck.
The Mongol in the Eagles nest being poised over for the little baby eagles underneath.Script Draft 2
Snatched
By
David Legge
Script
Scene One
Ext – Deserted Mongolian landscape – Dawn/Morning
Camera pans down from a early morning sky to show a vast Mongolian landscape with large snowed mountains, there is a small wooden hut with a smouldering fire outside in the distance.
A Mongolian man (mongol) has prepared his food placing his plate on a wooden log.
The Man looks really hungry and happy that he is about to eat his food. He closes his eyes as if to eat his food and munch down on it.
The Marmot jumps on the back of the Mongolian man’s head and runs away with the food.
The Mongolian Man bites the plate and when he realises the food has been taken he is very upset and angry.
Scene Two
EXT- Mongolian Landscape
The Mongolian man chases the Marmot across a vast distance over a hill. We can see here how far away the Marmot is from the Mongolian Man as he pants behind.
The Marmot Dodges round a giant rock.
The Mongolian Man doesn’t dodge the rock but smacks into.
The Mongolian manages to jump over the rock and carry on running.
Scene Three
Ext – Deserted Mongolian landscape – Morning
The Mongolian man chases the marmot further.
The Marmot jumps over a broken down Cart without any problems.
The Mongolian man crashes into the Cart sending debris flying.
The Mongolian man Appears from the dust and debris, attached to two of the Cart’s wheels where he is struggling to stay on them.
The Mongolian flies past getting closer and closer to the Marmot.
Scene Four
Ext –Forest - Morning
They enter into a forest full of trees, its quite dark with angel rays shooting through.
The Mongolian makes a jump for the marmot and the wheels fly off.
The Mongolian is inches from the marmot when an Eagle swoops in and picks up the Marmot.
The Man is by himself, looking up at the eagle taking his food away.
The Mongol looks to the floor and sees a big leaf that looks like a feather.
Black screen
Scene Five
Ext –Outside of Forest - Morning
The Mongolian Man is set and ready to jump off the cliff with leaves attached to each of his arms to look like Wings.
TitlesFinal Script